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“When will you get married?” and “Why are you still single?” are two questions that I hear a lot nowadays from the neighbors, my big family and occasionally some of my friends.
Of course, all of them are concerned about my future and my marital status (more than I do apparently) except that they might not know how much such questions can be uncomfortable and intrusive.
So, to help you answering such questions, I gathered 5 of the best answers I could think of and I labeled them according to your state at the questioning time.

-The diplomatic answer
“I haven’t met the right person for me yet”.
Always works for everyone and in every situation.

-The ironic answer
  “Waiting until Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie break up”.
   You’ll get a good laugh if they knew who Brangelina are.

-The logical answer
  “I think that this is a private matter and I prefer not to discuss it”.
   You surely need an open minded audience to pull that off.

-The rude answer
  “It’s none of your business”.
   Not recommended at a family reunion. 

-The radical answer
  “I don’t believe in marriage and I prefer no-strings-attached relationships”.
   Oh well, good luck with that.

If I missed something, please help me because I’m running out of answers to this unanswerable question.

Abir Lebbos